True but thats because hes a fetus.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
