is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
there is puke in my bra ... again
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