New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
