he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
