So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
