So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
