It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize