Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
