i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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