Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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