She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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