Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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