Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
