I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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