im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
