I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
