we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
