i need an iv and a liver transplant
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
