Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
