haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize