So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
