just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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