Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
