Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize