I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
