3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
