i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
