Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
