Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
