She said her name was "party"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
