This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
