Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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