I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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