I bet he comes in French.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
