My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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