Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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