i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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