idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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