i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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