why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
