He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
