high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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