You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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