I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
