Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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