I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
