Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
