Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
