I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
