my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
