No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize