her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
