I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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