Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
