And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
