Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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