DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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