I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
