The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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