my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There r osticjed everywhere
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
