is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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